The Let's Play Archive

White Knight Chronicles I & II

by nine-gear crow

Part 70: Our Long Fantasy Nightmare Is Over (Part 4)


CUTSCENE: Shut It Down!

Yeah, I know, the game’s nowhere good enough to end on a 30 Rock joke, but whatever, it fits what’s about to happen next, so let’s roll with it.


So after getting absolutely clobbered by Orren in a battle the game will not recognize in any way what-so-ever, the Demon Knight collapses to its knees and begins to disintegrate.


Hopefully it takes Shit For Brains with it when it goes…










Poor Madoras, he spends 10,000 years trapped in a busted ass Knight, has to wait for the right collection of idiots to be goaded into reassembling his soul by Ledom, possesses the body of a 5’0” twat with an IQ of -80, gets his buffed up Knight trashed by a personalitiless mute that wasn’t really even an actual character in the game, and now to cap everything off, he’s about to be murdered by Cisna.

…I’m not actually joking about that last one. Cisna is about to kill the motherfucker. For 100% real.


The God-Empress of All Creation, Long May She Reign charges up her most bullshit of Bullshit Athwani Magic.


Cisna: Mureas…






Cisna: Give me strength!




Cisna: HADOKEN!

No, seriously, she just launched a beam of blue light at him Ryu from Street Fighter-style.

What else can you literally do at this point BESIDES shout out “HADOKEN!”




Madoras: Can this day get any fucking worse?


Madoras: Oh gods…


Madoras: Fuck my—


BOOSH!


Madoras: LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!






Madoras: RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!


Cisna: Die motherfucker, die motherfucker, die motherfucker, SQUEAL!


So there’s the final nail in the coffin of Failure that is Leonard. Becomes the final boss of his own video game, and then the guy who possessed him is defeated by the woman he spent half the duology failing to rescue.

Literally every character in this game is now officially more badass and competent than Leonard.


Madoras: Mureas… You SHE-DEVIIIIIIIIIIL!!!


Cisna: Say my name, bitch. Say. My. Name!


Madoras: NGHHHAAAAAAA!!!


Leonard/Madoras: UHAAAAAAAAGH!!!


Leonard/Madoras: …Ciiiiiis-naaaaaaaa!!!

Take a penultimate shot.

So there’s Leonard’s last line in the game, and it’s a perfect summation of his entire character “arc” in the game: feebly crying out to the woman who doesn’t actually share his affections and ultimately drowned up by another character with a better screen presence than he has.

I’m serious. Leonard’s “CISNA!” is a feeble whine, while Madoras’ “CISNA!” is a full-blown, top-of-lungs, rage-filled roar in hatred and defiance.


Cisna: Fuckin’ RIGHT!




CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Fly My Blue Bird! Fly! (English Version)” (Game 2 OST, Track 22)

Cisna: Leonard?!

Take one final shot.

This is also Cisna’s last line in the game, and it too is appropriate to her character, as it’s an expression of confused shock that Leonard is somehow still a thing in her life.

Also, the ending credits music kicks in right here so we are now literally SECONDS away from the game being over.






CHING!




Cisna stops her deathray for a moment on the off chance that maybe Leonard can still (against all reason for it) be saved from Madoras’ clutches.


Madoras: NGH-uuuuuhhh…


Madoras: Mureas… Ugh... Must you always…


Madoras: STAND IN MY WAY!!!


Cisna: See ya in another 10,000 years, jackass. Next time, we’re doing this in SPACE!


Madoras: UUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Madoras: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—




And then he just sort of disappears in a massive fart of darkness.




Oh hey, twatzilla’s back.


Lovely. Resume your natural place in the world, dipshit.


Faceplant. Leonard’s in his place, all’s right with the world.

Hey, this game does have a happy ending.


Yulie: Leonard!


Cisna: I am… What’s that emotion you feel when you get all warm and pleasant inside your gut?
Eldore: Happy?
Cisna: Not even close. Also, fainting now.
Eldore: The hell?


Cisna: Uuuuhhh…
Eldore: Your Grace!


Cisna: Muuugh… Donnn’t ugh… tell anyone about… *hic* this… Or I’ll have you…. Uuuug… drawn and quartered. If anyone asks, I won all by my… urk… self.
Orren: Now’s our chance. Let’s ditch the both of them and run for it.


On cue, the Garmatha begins to shake and crumble because just like the Black Usurper was the last time around for the Dogma Rift Temple, Emperor Madoras was its Load-Bearing Boss, despite the fortress pre-existing him by like half-an-hour.


So we’re at least going to have some measure of an ending like last time… right?

…Why’s the timecode on my VLC player say “-00:10”?


Caesar: Hey guys! We gotta go! Like now!

And there’s the thesis statement for the game’s ending. “Fuck it, we’re out of money, shut it down and run!”

Also, here’s another one for the Leonard Highlight Reel: ending the game by having his unconscious body dragged off screen by the better written replacement for him and the childhood crush who his stupidity crushed her soul into diamond dust.




Eldore: Quickly!

And there it is, the last spoken line of dialog for White Knight Chronicles storyline. The game ends on Eldore telling everyone to hurry the hell up and try to outrun the ending.


Orren: So wait, are we literally just—
Eldore: Yes, Niles, we’re running away from the ending. Just be glad they had the budget for this last shot or it would have ended two seconds ago with us just standing there.
Orren: Point taken. Wait up, old fart!


Well, that certainly was a thing and it happened. And you can’t take that away from anyone.

Congratulations, Akihiro Hino! You made… something. I’m not really sure what to call it. All I know is that you did it.

Boy, did you fucking do it…

Epilogue’s up next folks. Stay tuned.




GARMATHA FORTRESS